Coding Habits: 8 Steps to Help Your Child Build Habit Sequences That Stick
Have you ever wished your child would just remember to do something without you reminding them a hundred times?
“Brush your teeth!” “Pack your backpack!” “Put the shoes away!”
Anyone else feel like a broken record?
Well, what if the secret isn’t more nagging — but better coding?
No, not computer coding — habit coding.
It’s a clever little method from BJ Fogg’s book Tiny Habits that helps you link one small action to another until your brain runs them automatically — like a chain reaction of good habits.
Let’s dig into how this works, why it’s brain-friendly for kids, and how you can start “programming” positive routines that practically run themselves.
What Is a Habit Sequence?
A habit sequence is two or more habits linked together — the first one acts as the anchor or prompt for the next.
Think of it as mental coding: “After I do this, I do that.”
Once you’ve built one small chain, you can add another, and another. Before you know it, you’ve created a smooth sequence of automatic wins. This is similar to habit stacking.
For example:
After I brush my teeth, I floss.
After I floss, I put in my retainer.
Boom — three habits, one continuous flow.
For kids, habit sequences make daily routines predictable and easy to remember.
The anchor becomes a mental trigger that keeps them on track without constant reminders — and saves you both frustration.
This reminds me of my son’s “Things.” Years ago, he started grouping his nightly bedtime tasks into one cluster we called his Things. I’d simply say, “Did you do your Things?” and that meant: brush teeth, put in Invisalign, wash face, use eye drops, take allergy medicine.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but we had created a habit sequence. One action triggered the next, until the whole routine ran on autopilot. It’s a beautiful thing.
Here are the steps to help your child create their own Habit Sequence.
Step 1: Find the Anchor
An anchor is something you already do every day — something that doesn’t take willpower to remember.
Think of it as the “plug” your new habit attaches to.
“Anchors keep routines steady.”
Kid-friendly anchors include:
Brushing teeth
Getting dressed
Finishing breakfast
Returning from the bathroom
Putting shoes by the door
Turning off the alarm
Walking in from school
For example, my son is working on the habit of making his bed each morning.
His anchor? His morning bathroom visit.
As soon as he returns to his room, he makes his bed. No charts, no reminders — just a simple mental link. Let’s see if it sticks. 😉
Step 2: Tag on the New Habit
Once you’ve chosen your anchor, tag on one small habit.
Not ten. Not a “complete morning transformation.” Just one.
Here’s my own example:
After foot surgery, I wanted to improve my balance.
So I decided: “While I brush my teeth, I will balance on one foot.”
Now I can’t not do it — my brain automatically pairs tooth-brushing with balancing.
That’s the beauty of a coded habit: it becomes automatic through repetition.
Step 3: Try a “Waiting Habit”
Another great type of habit is the waiting habit — something you do while waiting for something else.
Waiting moments are gold mines for micro-habits because your brain is already idle and ready to fill the gap.
Examples for kids:
While waiting for their ride → tidy up their backpack.
While waiting for a TV commercial to end → take five deep breaths.
While waiting for a parent on the phone → write or draw something kind.
While waiting for breakfast → feed the dog or refill their water bottle.
Waiting habits turn wasted moments into productive ones — no extra time required. Win-win!
Step 4: Try a “Pearl Habit”
Dr. Fogg also talks about Pearl Habits, which turn annoying moments into positive triggers — just like an oyster turns an irritating grain of sand into a pearl.
He tells the story of how his furnace made a loud noise each night, which used to irritate him. Instead of staying annoyed, he decided that every time he heard it, he’d relax his face and body. Soon, the sound became a cue to relax — the annoyance became his reminder to breathe.
Now imagine how powerful that can be for kids:
After I feel insulted → I’ll think one kind thought about myself.
After my pencil breaks → I’ll stretch my fingers.
After my sibling annoys me → I’ll take three calm breaths.
After I spill something → I’ll laugh and clean it up calmly.
Each irritation becomes a mini mind master moment — a chance to practice emotional flexibility.
Step 5: Create a Habit Recipe
Here’s your simple formula — the “habit code” that makes everything click:
After I _____, I will _____.
You can use this for any kind of sequence — morning routines, calm-down rituals, homework habits, or emotional resets.
Examples for kids:
After I put my shoes away, I’ll hang up my backpack.
After I feed the dog, I’ll wash my hands.
After I brush my teeth, I’ll say one good thing that happened today.
After I feel nervous, I’ll tell myself, “I can handle this.”
After I shoot hoops for 10 minutes, I will start my homework.
Simple. Specific. Stickable.
And remember — kids learn best by seeing you do it.
Create your own tiny habit recipe, say it out loud, and celebrate it too.
“After I pour my coffee, I’ll remind myself that today is going to be a great day!”
They’ll follow your lead — and maybe even remind you of your anchor.
Step 6: Celebrate Tiny Wins
This part might sound silly, but, according to Fogg, it’s crucial. Right after you do the habit, celebrate it!
The celebration becomes an emotional reinforcement. Your brain releases a burst of positive chemicals that wire in the habit faster.
You can:
Say “Yes!” or “Woohoo!”
Pump your fist or strike a superhero pose.
Smile big or hum a happy tune.
For kids, make it fun — a mini dance, a silly face, or a high-five in the mirror.
That little spark of celebration tells your brain: “That felt good — let’s do it again.”
Step 7: Grow Your Habit Chain
Once one habit becomes automatic, add another.
You’re essentially “coding” a longer routine — one habit triggering the next.
For example:
After I wake up → I use the bathroom → I make my bed → I open the blinds → I get dressed.
One day it’s just “make my bed.” A few weeks later, it’s a smooth sequence that starts the day right.
Small wins grow into big systems — the same way kids build Legos, one brick at a time.
Step 8: Set Up Your Environment for Success
Once you’ve coded your new habits, make your environment work for you, not against you.
Changing your environment can make old habits harder to do — and new ones easier.
Sometimes it’s as simple as removing temptation or adding a visible reminder.
When my kids were young, I moved their snacks from a low pantry shelf to a high cabinet after we remodeled our kitchen. It wasn’t about being restrictive — I just wanted to help them make more mindful snack choices.
If you want your kids to choose healthier snack options, put a bowl of nuts on the counter or sliced fruit in easy-to-reach containers in the fridge.
Changing the environment can change the habit.
One habit that I am working on is brushing my dog’s teeth. This is something I have wanted to be consistent with for years, but have always struggled to do so for some reason. I decided to make my anchor giving him his medicine. Now every day at 6 pm, I give my dog his medicine and then brush his teeth (or at least this is the plan). One environmental change I made to help me with this new habit is that I placed his toothbrush and toothpaste next to his medicine on the counter. Wish me luck!
More Environment-Change Ideas:
To help your child put shoes away → place a small shoe rack by the door.
To encourage flossing → keep floss right next to the toothbrush.
To promote journaling → leave a notebook and pen on the nightstand.
To reduce screen time → keep devices in another room during meals.
When you combine environment changes and habit sequences, success skyrockets.
Habit Swap: Replacing Old Habits with New Ones
Sometimes it’s not just creating a new habit but getting rid of a bad one that’s necessary. That’s where habit swaps come in. A Habit Swap is a way to replace an unwanted habit with something positive.
It’s not about stopping the bad habit — it’s about redirecting the energy behind it.
For example:
“When I want a snack, I’ll get a drink of water instead.”
“When I want to go on my phone, I’ll stretch or take a walk.”
More Habit Swap Ideas for Kids:
When I feel like complaining → I’ll say one thing I’m grateful for.
When I want screen time → I’ll read a book for five minutes first.
When I want chips → I’ll grab popcorn or fruit.
When I want to skip homework → I’ll set a timer for just five minutes and start.
Small swaps make big differences.
To help create your Habit Codes, use the Coding Habits Worksheet.
Identity Shifting
One of the biggest long-term benefits of building habits is that they shape identity.
If you stick with your new habits long enough, you begin to see yourself differently.
You don’t just do the habit — you become the kind of person who does it.
If your new habits are to:
Put away laundry right after folding,
Unload the dishwasher every morning,
Sort the mail each day…
…then soon, you’ll start to see yourself as organized or action-oriented.
Identity Examples for Kids:
A child who practices piano each day begins to see themselves as a musician.
A child who speaks kindly to classmates starts to view themselves as a kind person.
A child who takes care of their pet begins to see themselves as responsible.
A child who sets goals and follows through sees themselves as capable and confident.
Each small habit reinforces the identity they’re growing into — one action at a time.
Seeing themselves as the kind of person who practices this new habit helps build a positive personal identity — one that naturally fuels additional habits aligned with that identity. It’s a positive cycle where the behavior reinforces the identity, and the identity strengthens the behavior.
“Behavior → Belief → Behavior”
Each time your child practices a positive habit, they begin to see themselves as the kind of person who does that thing. That new identity fuels even more habits that match who they believe they are.
Challenge: This week, become a Habit Coder!
Pick one habit you’d like to start.
Choose an anchor (something you already do every day).
Fill in your recipe:
After I _____, I will _____.Practice it for one week — and celebrate every time!
When you’re ready, add another habit.
Before you know it, you’ll have coded your whole day for success.