Help Your Child Take Control of Big Feelings with a Power Plan
If … then
A Simple Tool for Emotional Awareness and Regulation
Have you ever watched your child struggle with a big feeling—like frustration, sadness, or anger—and wished you could just hand them a tool to help them handle it?
Here’s the good news: you can.
Big feelings are part of being human, but for kids who are still learning how to navigate them, it can be overwhelming. That’s why having a Power Plan—a simple, kid-friendly "If…Then" tool—can be so empowering.
Why a Power Plan Works
When we’re in the middle of an emotional storm, it’s hard to think clearly. But when kids already have a plan in place, they don’t have to figure it all out in the moment. They simply follow their Power Plan.
Just knowing that there’s a next step they can take helps them feel calmer, more capable, and more in control of their emotions. And when kids realize they have a say in how they respond to their feelings, they start to build emotional strength that will last a lifetime.
Because here’s the truth:
Feelings are powerful—but so are kids.
And when they have a plan, they have the power.
What is a Power Plan?
The Power Plan is a simple If…Then statement to prepare for moments when big feelings pop up.
For example:
🌳 If I feel nervous before speaking in front of the class, then I can take 3 deep breaths and say to myself, “I got this!”
🌳 If I get angry that someone took the last piece of chocolate cake, then I can go for a walk and feel proud that I made a healthy choice.
🌳 If I feel frustrated because I can't solve a homework problem, then I can take a 5-minute break and ask for help.
These kinds of plans help children take emotional triggers and turn them into opportunities to pause, think, and choose a healthy response.
This is something we all need. That is why Power Plans are not just for kids. I find myself in need of them often. Here is a recent Power Plan I created: “If one of my children misses a deadline…then I will take a Mirror Moment and, in a calm voice, help them come up with a solution (instead of my knee-jerk reaction, which is to freak out!)
Another one I am working on is, “If my son leaves his dishes in the sink…then I will go find him and make him come to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher (instead of just putting them in the dishwasher myself and being angry, which, let’s be honest, is much easier!)
Kid-Friendly If…Then Examples
Here are a few more examples, across different emotional triggers, you can use to spark ideas with your child:
Nervousness:
If I feel nervous before a test, then I can take 3 deep belly breaths and say, “I’ve got this.”
If I feel butterflies before I speak, then I can smile and imagine everyone is cheering for me.
If I feel anxious about going to the doctor, then I can hold my favorite stuffed animal and practice slow breathing.
Anger:
If I feel really mad that someone cut in line, then I can count to 10 and remind myself it’s not worth ruining my day.
If I feel like yelling, then I can stomp my feet outside or draw what I’m feeling.
If I feel angry that I lost a game, then I can take a deep breath and remind myself that it’s okay not to win every time.
Sadness:
If I feel sad because a friend didn’t want to play with me, then I can play with someone else or do something else I enjoy.
If I miss my dad, then I can look at a picture of us together and give myself a hug.
Jealousy:
If I feel jealous because my friend got a new toy, then I can think of something I’m grateful for that I already have.
Frustration:
If I feel stuck on a hard homework problem, then I can take a 5-minute break and try again.
If I am feeling burnt out from studying, then I can go hit tennis balls against the garage wall to reset my mind and release some built-up stress. (This is one my son used the other day!)
Download Your Free "My Power Plan" Worksheet
To make this easy and fun, I created a printable worksheet you can download and fill out with your child. Sit down together, talk about common emotional triggers, and write out a few Power Plan responses. This simple activity can open up powerful conversations and help your child feel more prepared the next time a big emotion shows up. You can also create one for yourself!
👉 Download the My Power Plan Worksheet
Final Thoughts
Giving your child a Power Plan is like handing them a flashlight in the dark. It doesn’t erase the emotion, but it lights the path forward. And every time they use it, they strengthen their ability to manage their emotions—not just today, but for life.
Start by downloading the My Power Plan Worksheet. Sit down with your child and brainstorm a few everyday situations where having a Power Plan would help. Then, when one of those moments comes up, gently remind them of their plan—they already know what to do. The more they practice using their Power Plans, the more natural it will become when new situations arise. Modeling a Power Plan can be helpful also. Share your Power Plan with your child and let them observe you using it!